WHEN TO LOVE AND WHEN NOT TO LOVE

WHEN TO LOVE and WHEN NOT TO LOVE SOMEONE

We all love beautiful things, love to have fun in the moment and always dreaming bigger! Friends and family are super important to us. We love to be chirpy, fun spontaneity and good networks. 

Some people love arts, music and travel while some love to write...I mean really really love to write and that they barely go a day without doing it in some way...Many are very passionate about what they do and love and that so often they are  too full on for some people. 

I am fascinated with human interaction and the effect of computer mediated communication these days and why people still do the things that they do. Technology these days had greatly affected the way people interact to each other or to the least extent, show love and affection to others. In a way, in these modern times, people have become selfish and obnoxious of others. Some would even go to the extent of just going around to find and collect old typewriters rather than to enjoy philosophical and academic  conversations with others or have someone or rather be with someone go crazy and do star gazing together on a clear dark night.

People tend to be choosy on someone to love or to lesser degree like something in another person especially to that of the opposite sex--beautiful green or blue eyes, a curvy figure, a wonderful smile, lean long legs, a quirky sense of humor. There are a lot of different things that might make someone get attracted to someone. But having a healthy relationship with one’s partner is more than just attraction; it requires respect, mutual trust and open communication. Whether you're looking for an LTR or as they say “long-term-relationship” or is already committed into one, make sure you and your partner agree on what makes the relationship healthy (as well as spicy!)

Keeping the fire burning in a relationship (I mean for the serious ones and not just hook-ups or night-stands) is not always easy, but you can build on such a utopian healthy relationship.

Here are some guides to tell yourself (and tell to your partner as well) when to love and not when to enter into a committal relationship. 

1.     Look for someone who treats you with utmost respect. 

2.     Don't make fun of things you like or want to do even if it looks too silly or corny for you.

3.     Never put the other party down or be pushy for the things you wished to do.

4.     Don’t get angry if at times she would rather spend time with her friends or family than heed your invitation for a date.

5.      Listen to her ideas and compromise sometimes. It does not mean you are a man does not perfectly mean you are smarter (better) than her. (Could also be the other way around).

6.     Do not be excessively negative if the tides are getting rough between the two of you—you could both resolve and sort things out together.

7.      Share some of your interests and hobbies such as going on movies and plays, do sports, reading, dancing, knitting, pet-sitting, gardening, playing music and the like. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and feelings and work on the common interests and hobbies that both of you could enjoy. Nothing could be more enjoyable and fun if both of you are into them.

8.     You have to be comfortable around her friends and family. 

9.     Be proud of her accomplishments and successes. Compliment her for these!

1.  Respects your boundaries and do not abuse technology. Talk and converse rather than staring or checking your latest gadgets and mobiles most of the time.

1.  Don’t act like a “father” requiring her to "check in" or need to know where she is all the time. Worse, don’t act like a “police” asking her a lot of questions where she is, what is she doing, who is with her, how long will she stay there, why is she there, and the pesky lists of questions goes on and on. 

1. Be more caring and honest. Don’t pressure each other to do things that you both don't know how to do and want to do. 

1. Don’t be paranoid of constantly accusing your partner of cheating or being unfaithful. Remember that a relationship consists of two people. Both you and your partner should have an equal say on things and should never be afraid to express how you feel.

1. It's not just about speaking up for yourself -- you should also listen and seriously consider what your partner says.

1   In every relationship, there are arguments and disagreements, on certain occasions, and that is practically normal. However, if every now and then one party flares up and sparks a fight very often, then you might need to have a recheck and consider things more deeply about continuing the relationship if its worthy or not.  Having fights sometimes is normal but how you choose to manage the disagreements matters. 

Now I’ve presented you some few tips and advice when to love and not when to love. If you think you are ready and fit in 80-90% of the guides I gave above, then you are most likely is ready to be in a relationship. But if you think you don’t’ even comply with more than 50% of what was written, then you might have to say “wait” to yourself before entering a relationship as there might be regrets in the later part and one feeling the “victim” if there is no magic and sparks with the other party.

Are the guidelines given sound too familiar? Do you have an advice or tip to make relationships last longer? What are the ways and means that you do to spice up your relationships?